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[30 Oct 2004|05:44pm] |
new journal.. new place to run to
if you want it and i didnt give it to you then ask
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(9 bags of love | All this love)
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[05 Oct 2004|05:52pm] |
to those who know i cant write happy love poems TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!!!
Okay...
so..... I love you.
You've certainly surpassed
my circus...of circumstance
this surface of broken glass
never seems to last ...
with you.
And it's not your telekenetic
ways of explaining phonetic
days, and why our hands
haven't met---yet
it's more like the fire breathing
heaves of language that
leave my languid sea
seeming something like sunset.
It's the 12 hours I haven't spoken
broken sentances...
a day since my voice broke choice
repentences... to the Shooting stars
like the dented cars I smoked in...
your voice is my potion...
and I am thirsty...
So, I love your
perfect percision in
penetrating my pupils
the pulses like percussion
lines, signs pointing to
plastic pine trees
that make me think
of drinking your
drunken sway from
thunder to whisper...
so I love u
this feeling the need
to speak... everyday
of the week, this
trancendental glance
at accidental romance
invokes a kind of
smoke that rises
from the throat...
that makes me
want to scream
ring words like
birds sing like
first fling like
I kinda need this
and I kinda don't want this
and I kinda can't get enough
of this, but something that
happened so fast... can't
possibly find the velocity
to last through this thunderstorm
born of under-estimating and
over-analyzing and I can't
find an excuse to find loose
threads.... I can't imagine not
having the food of mind you
fed... upon my bed as we weaved
the constellations ... and found
the connotations.... in meditating
airwaves ... like slaves to implicating
hesitations....
discovering each others breath
and mastering sighs, at twilight
laughing in the lime light
of not wanting to say goodbye....
and it sucks...
Because I may be quick to
trip, but I'm not quick to slip
and fall... I'm not quick to
rip walls and give my all
not the type to write
about sunshine or
moonshine, or the
way your smile eclipses time
I'm not the type to fall in
love after kindergarten shoves
into the mud, followed by
you're ....
kinda....
like...
cool....
like...
wanna
like
get ....
married?
The very thought of
burying my pride and
denying times of hiding
from the sky.... makes
me want to choke on
smoke on
something new, not quite
so, you...
you prick....
what gives you the right to
be so slick
what gives you the left to
make me want you like...
This is simply sick....
it's as if
as if I left my
mind behind and
intertwined my ...sight
....with my heart
and it tears me right...
apart...
But... I love you.
And I can't help but
fall in swan dives
can't help but..
slip in tip toes
can't help but
feel the wind blow
can't help but
think.
of you.
and how you've
You've certainly surpassed
my circus...of circumstance
this surface of broken glass
hasn't seemed to last
with you.....
and that's just not normal...
at this point the joint
efforts usually hide
to one side, and then
the tide breaks on the
shore, and what was
once, isn't anymore...
but this justice roots from
the core of my being
...with words fleeing
quick like decisions
and it's precision is
enticing, like the icing
on the cake, and usually
I don't let people take
me so quickly but
.....you've done it....
taken my web and spun it
into something beautiful
and I can't wait to hear
how your day went
and I can't wait to hear
you dodge my questions
and I can't wait to you
laugh masterpieces...
you're voice is my
potion
and I am thirsty
and I love you
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(1 bags of love | All this love)
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[25 Sep 2004|01:42pm] |
I want to taste
every word
in it's last drop..
leaving it to
leave me fiending
for the flavor
of experiencing
warm touches
on cold couches
with new love
and fresh flesh
from wild saints
and scattered
ash....
I want to learn
to write with
opened lips...
expelling
experiences
each time
my tongue
sways like
a cradle
I want to taste it
be nourished by
it's consonance and
assonance....
balancing
cinnamon synonyms
on my taste buds...
I want to feel it's
warmth slurring
through my
existence...
slowly brewed
to finest
delights...
like a... first
crush hang over
felt for the first time,
stomach churning
heart pumping...
knees trembling
struck down
by lightning
clenching
wrenching
ripping
twitching
slipping
deeper
gulping
enveloping
purging urges
thirsting
thrusting
bursting
busting
mentally
orgasmic
fantastic
rhythmic
poetry...
I want it to feel like
my first kiss
the last time I got high
and every time in between
I want to gasp for breath
while drowning slowly
in to go cups of
every favorite flavor
I've ever had.....
I want to drink poetry
in it's black coffee
steaming like windows
richness.
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(6 bags of love | All this love)
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[23 Sep 2004|02:15pm] |
I am: a tired poet with no time for coffee houses anymore
I want: to write a book of my poems.
I have: too much tim eon my hands and not enough people to spend it with
I hate: being judged
I fear: losing everyone
I hear: the wind and the clock ticking life away
I feel: ill
I care: too much when i know i shouldnt
I smile: just so you wont ask whats wrong
I hope : i see the world
I wonder: why i can never write the happy poems when im happy
I love: too much
I messed up: a lot
I think: i think too much
I always: forgive
I dance: in the rain with michelle ardan
I see : everything how i want to see it ( bad i know)
I sing: DC always
I try: to stay away from the bad
I talk about: good old times
I cry:..
I spilled: what the fuck kind of thing is that
I wish: i saw ann arbor more
I keep: Starting fights.
I am not always: this understanding
I can: be a bitch.
I can’t: be what you want me to be
I lose: everything.
I smell: nothing
I confuse: myself
I need: to get away from this town
I should: be writing
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(3 bags of love | All this love)
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[06 May 2004|07:20am] |
ok maybe this was just me but i got an over ride from a lj friend
oh by the way thank you i got it working
and it makes you links glow OH MAN!! HOW COOL IS THAT
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(7 bags of love | All this love)
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| good song |
[29 Apr 2004|05:10pm] |
She had a history of killing herself
I had a habit of dying
I think she gave me something to live for
I guess I helped her pass the time
And I had a vision of seeing things straight
She had the heart of a liar
I never saw her leave me once
She never felt me beside her
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
She had a history of killing herself
I had a habit of dying
I think she gave me something to live for
I guess I helped her pass her time
And I had a vision of seeing things straight
She had the heart of a liar
I never saw her leaving me once
She never felt me beside her
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me
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(2 bags of love | All this love)
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[29 Apr 2004|07:47am] |
i need a new layout. What i got going just isnt working too well for me and i need something new. For those of you who know me i always changed my SN every two days till i found one i like well thats how it is with me i need a nother layout because it isnt what im looking for.
ok so really im asking pam what i should do.
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( All this love)
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[29 Apr 2004|07:31am] |
she wishes on stars now
and moonlight is what brings her to life
with tears that mean nothing
she never lasted long in this world
constellations were rearranged the night she was born
her destiny laid out in front of her
under the works but so far not liking it so this writing thing has i think finally ended.
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( All this love)
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[29 Apr 2004|07:25am] |
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
It's not warm when she's away
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
Anytime she goes away
Wonder this time where she's gone
Wonder if she's gonna stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away
And I know, I know...
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Only darkness everyday
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away
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( All this love)
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[27 Apr 2004|12:27pm] |
have i told you i love you today?
well i love you more then the stars in the sky and the tears youve cried
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( All this love)
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[27 Apr 2004|09:54am] |
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ok pam about the 19th i was talking to ryland about it on my way to school and he said that it would be a maybe but he doesnt see why not the thing is he would really like it if like the next day i could go to school with you so he wouldnt have to come get me that night. You know what i mean? so i guess its either way but he would really like it if i could just go to school with you. One other thing is i have to talk to my mom about it if im a good girl and stuff i think i can make it be a yes but thats the only reason ryland is saying maybe because he doesnt know what my mom will say. Ill talk to them after school see what they say and get back to you. Just let me know about the whole going to to school with you thing.
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( All this love)
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[27 Apr 2004|07:13am] |
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she cried for you last night
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( All this love)
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[25 Apr 2004|07:17pm] |
i can still taste you on my lips the thing is i know itll fade with time and thats what makes me want to never leave my room.
i cried when i turned the corner and you drove further away from me
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( All this love)
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[23 Apr 2004|05:17pm] |
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( All this love)
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[23 Apr 2004|11:27am] |
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im sorry if i got you in trouble i thought you were at lunch and yea. Call me later or ill call you after school.
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( All this love)
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[23 Apr 2004|10:40am] |
I’m slipping into myself again:
going deep into my body
deep into my mind:
Down those shadowed hallways
trailing my fingers along the walls
to keep my way
intact
don’t get lost here
no good to get lost here
no need to panic
better to breathe
And around those twisty corners
I bend
slither on softened feet
drawn by the song
of bruised throat and darkened eyes
I have been reborn
again and again
risen with dust in my hair
nails gnawed short
rounded and flattened
destroyed and rebuilt
into this
And down the rows I pass
just silent, just dreaming
sliding through the labyrinth
of memory…
better to breathe
than to choke
better to harness that sickness
than recall defeat
Keeping an ear to the hoarse howl
from the girl I once was
rounding that turn
and into dim light
I see her crouched and panting
like an animal
like an animal
gagging wordless and engorged
spitting up into her hair
snot streaming and eyes blackened
by the strain
better to breathe
Remember my way back
from the misery
from the stink…
Drifting, I’m gliding away
sighing
humming tuneless and sightless
around curves and corners
until she is vague again
Alone again
I tell her
better to breathe
better to breathe
you’ll find your way
no need to panic
you will not be lost here
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(1 bags of love | All this love)
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